Decorations without buying for Christmas

We've been a bit late with putting up our Christmas decorations this year, but with two days to go, we've finally got it sorted. Normally we love having a real Christmas tree, but I had a problem with that for two reasons. The first is that I would have to buy it and I can't really claim that it's a necessity, but in any case the second reason is that I think the Puppy would try to eat it! So instead of a real tree, we've dusted off an artificial one and put it in the dining room, where the Puppy is only allowed under supervision. But that left the problem of what to put in the sitting room? We had some sprayed silver twigs, but needed something a bit bigger, so I went into the garden to seek inspiration, and there I struck gold. We have two beautiful dogwood bushes with lovely red stems, so I cut half a dozen stems, popped them in a large gold pot on a small table, added fairy lights and decorations, and hey presto - we have a stylish (sort of) Christmas tree that's free, and out of Puppy reach!

Wishing you all a Happy Christmas!

Green Christmas tips - Wrapping Presents

Having finished my Christmas cards last week, I've now turned my attention to wrapping presents without spending any money on wrapping paper or ribbons. I've never been very good at beautifully wrapping presents as some of my friends do, so last year  I made an effort and added ribbons to all the presents. Not only did they look better, but I made sure to hang onto all the ribbons I had used so I could reuse them again this year. I have also got some paper that was left over from last year, so I could have just used that, but having enjoyed making Christmas cards, I thought I would try a little harder with the wrapping and show that it could be done stylishly, without the need for bought wrapping paper. So here's the results!

 

 For the men in my life, I used pages from an old Asterix book. The cover was torn, so it was too scruffy to give to a charity shop, but the pages make great wrapping. The ribbon was saved from last year, the bow saved from a present someone gave to us.
 

  For the other presents I used magazines from Christmas time last year. There was especially good photography in a homes magazine which I glued onto a shoe box to create a patchwork effect of Christmas images. 

For the smaller presents I just used a single page from one of the magazines. My favourite was the big reindeer picture in the top photo which was an advert in one of the magazines.

I am quite pleased with the results, now I will just have to wait and see if my friends like them too!

The art of not buying Christmas cards

This week it's been time to write Christmas cards. So I've turned my attention to how to do this without buying any new cards, and trying to be as green as possible. Having thought about my approach, I realise it's a new interpretation of that well known phrase, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.

Reduce (but without shedding friends...)

Firstly, I have used email to send a Christmas letter where possible. A couple of years ago I experimented with doing this and asking friends for feedback - did they mind not having a Christmas card and getting a letter by email instead? The majority of my friends were happy with this approach, a few said they preferred a real letter, so I will post to a few, but most of my friends who live a way away have been emailed, or sent a letter via Facebook. One of the advantages of this was that I found quite a few of my friends emailed me back, with news of their year, so it was more interactive than just posting a card into the void.

Reuse (last year's leftovers)

Secondly I have used up Christmas cards from previous years. Every year I normally buy or make some, but there's always a few left over, so they get put back in the box with the Christmas decorations. This year, I dug them all out and used them - hopefully no-one will mind if I've accidentally used the same design for them two years running! Surprisingly, I had almost enough cards, but did run out before I'd finished so I had to turn my attention to the third option, which is making my own.

Recycle  (new cards from recycled materials)

I've always enjoyed making Christmas cards, but it can be quite time consuming, so I was trying to find a way of producing simply made but effective cards that didn't take too long to make. So I spent an hour armed with card and glue that I already had, last year's John Lewis Christmas catalogue and some John Lewis stickers that I bought last year. I experimented with a number of designs, in the end my favourite one involved cutting out a square of text talking about Christmas, sticking it onto coloured card, then finishing it off with a penguin sticker or a smaller image cut out of the Christmas catalogue. In an hour I had produced about 15 cards, and was really pleased with the results, plus I had a warm fuzzy 'I've been creative' feel. My only regret was that I hadn't made more of the cards myself, as I'd already written a last years card to a lot of my best friends and it would have been nice to give them a handmade one. Never mind, there's always next year!

Green gifts for Christmas

As the present buying season builds up into full flow, several people have asked me how I'm doing my Christmas shopping this year whilst trying to avoid buying unnecessary 'things'. Two months ago I had a chance for a trial run at present giving without buying things when two of my teens had birthdays. My son was happy with the promise of driving lessons and a big bag of Skittles (sweets) so no problem there. For my daughter I wrapped up a couple of books that I had bought for her already, and we gave her money to spend as we were planning a trip to London on her birthday. She liked the freedom of spending the money, but she did confess that she does like the excitement of unwrapping something that was chosen specially for her. So for Christmas I'm going to have to try a bit harder.

So here's my thoughts on what I could aim for this Christmas.

1) Experiences.  Driving lessons, vouchers for the cinema or theatre, a promise of a meal out. These all fit perfectly into the doctrine of not buying physical stuff and focussing on doing rather than having.

2) Things that you know people need or are useful. Without giving the game away here, I've bought things for my teens as stocking fillers that I know they will use, plus little luxuries that I know that they will love which are consumable in some way - either edible or toiletries, either way they are useful and won't just be useless clutter.

3) Clothes. Again I've tried to make sure that these are things that my children want and are useful. No Christmas jumpers that only get worn once!

4) Books, games and music. I reckon that here you are mainly paying for someone's creativity, rather than something physical. In the era of downloads, this could be completely virtual, or even if it is a physical CD or game, it is easily reused if passed on to a charity shop afterwards, or even better, buy second hand in the first place if you can.

5) Buying ethically. So where I have bought actual stuff, I can try and direct my money well. So fairtrade chocolate from Oxfam, toiletries from Lush or Body Shop.

6) Buying second hand. Generally this is a good principle, although I haven't done any hunting round the charity shops this Christmas, that's mainly because part of the exercise for me is about not spending as much time shopping, but doing other things instead.

So that's the aim. I will report further on progress as the festive season continues!

Ticketysplit - getting out for less on the train

It's 8am and I'm on the way to Birmingham for the day for a meeting. Buying a ticket should be a straightforward process, but it's not quite as simple as it seems, and with a bit of effort you can get a good deal and save a substantial amount of money.

When I first looked up the price for my journey today it was £148. Sharp intake of breath. I couldn't get a cheaper fare by going later as I needed to be in Birmingham by 10am, but then I remembered Ticketysplit.

Ticketysplit is a tool on the MoneySavingExpert.com website that allows you to look for the cheapest fare by splitting your journey into two and calculating whether buying two tickets, (one for each part of the journey) is actually cheaper than just buying one for the whole of the journey. So for example, if you are traveling from  Bournemouth to Birmingham and the train stops at Reading on the way it may be cheaper to buy a ticket from Bournemouth to Reading, then Reading to Birmingham than to buy a Bournemouth to Birmingham ticket for the same train.

It sounds crazy I know, but as in a supermarket, it's not always cheaper to go for the bigger pack, sometimes two smaller packs are a better deal.

So I put my journey into Ticketysplit to see what it would come up with. Ticketysplit only works with single fares at the moment, but it came up with the information that I could save money even by buying singles to and from Banbury which is a stop on my route, which would save me £30. I then took this one stage further, and looked at return fares to Banbury, then from Banbury to Birmingham. By buying a return from home  to Banbury, then a second return from Banbury to Birmingham, I can travel on the same trains at the same time for just under £62. That's a saving of £80 - over half of the original fare!!!  Crazy, but perfectly legitimate. So long as the train you are on stops at the station where you split your fare, you are not breaking any rules, just getting the best deal.

So, next time you have a lengthy or expensive train journey and want to get out for less, try Ticketysplit to see if you can get a better deal.

Three good things

Following on from yesterday's blog.

Three good things that I enjoyed yesterday:

Running with and talking to a friend.

Meeting with my book group.

Cuddling the Puppy in the middle of the night. I woke up and had problems going back to sleep, so ended up going downstairs to get a drink and had a cuddle with the puppy. She made me feel much better!


Three good things that happened today:

I met a friend's new puppy. An eight week old Springer spaniel. So sweet! And so tiny compared my puppy who seems enormous now.

Watching our puppy chasing leaves in the wind when I walked her this afternoon.

Having a long talk about serious stuff with my daughter.

Celibrating the Ordinary and Counting your Blessings

After writing a couple of days ago about an inspiring day out in London, I have been thinking about something I heard in the news earlier this week. Researchers from the Happiness Institute in Copenhagen split a group of daily Facebook users into two groups, and asked one to abstain from using Facebook for a week. At the end of the week the group that had stopped using Facebook reported less stressed, less lonely and more sociable.  One of the reasons for this may be related to something that consistently appears in investigations into happiness - that comparing ourselves to others can cause dissatisfaction if we perceive other people to have better, more exciting or more affluent lives than ourselves.

Personally, I enjoy using Facebook, although I don't look at it every day,  but I am aware of times when someone else's post can make you feel a bit left out, or more dissatisfied with your own life. I am also aware through having teenagers of my own and observing their friends, that today's teens seem to be more stressed, pressured and struggling to cope than I feel my contemporaries were at their age. I have wondered if part of the reason is that in today's world, where we are encouraged to think there are endless possibilities, that everyone can be famous and successful if you just try hard enough, that the flipside of this is that if you haven't achieved something amazing, you feel like you should have done so - after all, look online and everyone else seems to be having a better time than us.

So instead of writing about our great days out (as I did a couple of days ago!), maybe we should make more time to celebrate the ordinary in our lives, as some people already do on Facebook. A friend of mine takes stunning photos and regularly posts pictures of the countryside around her home in Yorkshire which always make me feel uplifted. And although we might get fed up with another funny cat video, they do at least bring a smile to our face if we have the time to stop and look.

Another suggestion that I have come across to feel more positive is similar to the old advice of counting your blessings.  The suggestion is that every night, you should think about three things that you feel grateful for, or write them down in a 'gratitude diary'. They don't have to be big or complicated, just small moments of something good. There is experimental evidence that people who have done this for a number of weeks have noticed an effect on their outlook which often lasts beyond the time frame of the experiment.

So, as I've been writing this, I've realised that I'm setting myself up for another challenge. To try out what I've suggested, and find three things to be grateful for every day. For the next week I will try and post every day to get myself into the habit. If anyone reading this would like to comment on their things to be grateful for, please leave a comment, it would be great to hear from you.


So I'll kick off with three things to be grateful for from yesterday.

Helping my son with his homework. He was grumpy to start with but I was able to help him when he was stuck, and it felt really rewarding by the end.

Walking the dog on a beautiful autumn day.

That my family are safe and well. I can't help thinking of the terrible news from Paris over the last few days, and what makes me feel particularly sad is the young people killed in the concert listening to the Eagles of Death Metal. My youngest son loves music including pop punk and metal, and loves it when his Dad takes him to gigs. In a few weeks time they are going to a similar concert in a small venue in London. My heart goes out to those in Paris and to mothers who have lost their children.

Not buying things in London - Lunch at the Savoy Grill and three free things to do in London

Even before I started my year of not buying 'things' I had already started asking for experiences rather than having more things for my birthday. So earlier this year when my birthday came my husband promised me a day out to do something special. It sometimes takes us a while to get round to organising things, but seven months later we finally headed up to London for lunch at the Savoy Grill. 

Expensive! I hear you cry - well, yes it is, but not as expensive as you might think - set lunch of two courses is normally around £28 per head although at this time of year the set menu is three courses for £35. A quick look at the menu of Pizza Express round the corner shows that 3 courses could easily come to £25 or more. 

So what did we get for the extra? 

Lunch in a beautiful Art Deco room. The amber tortoiseshell walls almost appear to glow they are so highly polished, there are beautiful Art Deco style chandeliers and wall lights and mirrored surfaces reflecting the light. The service was exemplary, the food delicious, and for a couple of hours, we were following in the footsteps of some of the hotel's famous guests, Charlie Chaplin and Marilyn Monroe to name just a couple. A friend of mine went a couple of years ago to the Savoy Grill for lunch for her birthday and sat next to Robert Redford and his entourage as he was in London promoting his latest film. No celebrities appeared beside us, but a lovely lunch nevertheless.

The rest of the Savoy Hotel is also refurbished in a beautiful Art Deco style, so even if you haven't the time or money for lunch, come into the black and white marble foyer and venture down to the little shop in the centre of the hotel to admire the beautiful handmade chocolates and just take in the atmosphere.

So what else did we do in London that didn't involve spending money on 'things', or indeed spending money at all?

View of Tower Bridge from the Sky Garden

Firstly, we visited the Sky Garden on top of the 'walkie talkie' building or 20 Fenchurch Street as it is properly known. This amazing public space sits under a huge glass dome rising three stories from the 35th floor, and has an indoor garden and the most amazing 360° views of London. It was a grey day when we were there, but we could still see the Olympic park to the east, and Wembley stadium in the West. There is also a snack bar selling drinks and refreshments and plenty of seating, so you can sit and relax once you've taken in the view.

Entrance to the Sky Garden is free, but there are limited places and you have to reserve your ticket beforehand, so see the Sky Garden's website for more details.

Liberty's Christmas Window

Secondly, we went to Oxford Street to look at the lights and Christmas windows. Liberty and Selfridges are famous for their Christmas windows, so we went to check them out. 

I wasn't sure about Liberty's Windows. Richly decorated and alive with pattern, it was definitely a case of more is more! It rather reminded me of an upmarket version of how Charity shop windows used to look ... but worth a look anyway.

Scorpio - Selfridges' Christmas Window

 

My favourites were Selfridges' windows. Based on a zodiac theme of reaching for the stars, they were definitely out of this world.

Thirdly and lastly, to enjoy London at it's best, we did what I always love to do in London. Ditch the tube and get out and walk. Some of the best finds are down tiny side streets, and the more you walk, the more you see. A couple of years ago whilst walking from the British Museum towards Oxford street I came across one such gem. A tiny artist's shop called L.Cornelissen and Son reminded me of the description of Olivander's wand shop  in Harry Potter. A narrow creaking shop full of all types of artists materials crammed into wooden shelves and drawers, the shop was established in 1855 and obviously hasn't been changed since. The very friendly and helpful staff stand behind a lovely old fashioned wooden counter in front wooden numbered drawers topped with glass jars full of rainbow pigments. The next time I was passing, I took my daughter in to show her the shop. The shopkeeper came over and asked if we were looking for anything in particular. 

'No', I replied, 'I just wanted to show my daughter your beautiful shop.'

The shopkeeper lit up with a huge smile. There are some lovely warm and friendly people in London, you just have to know where to look.
 

 

Books for inspiration - The Happiness Project

I love reading about other people's experiences when they have made changes in their lives and about what happened as a consequence, and as part of my blog I thought I would revisit the books that have interested and inspired me. The first one to get a mention has to be the one that inspired this blog - 'The Happiness Project' by Gretchen Rubin.

In March this year I read an interview with Gretchen Rubin in The Sunday Times Magazine entitled 'Meet Gretchen Rubin, the Happiness Bully' in which In the interviewer talked to Gretchen about  her first book 'The Happiness project'. My interest piqued, I ordered the book from the library and set down to read.

In 'The Happiness Project', Gretchen writes about her quest to test of the theories of what makes us happier, taken from  positive psychology, science, philosophy and other sources or wisdom and applying them to her own life. Each month she focused on a different area and set herself challenges and resolutions that she would try to uphold.  She then examines how the changes she made affected her life and her perception of how happy she felt.

It's an interesting book to read, as Gretchen writes in an engaging and open style. She is also honest about the things that don't go according to plan, and you get a sense of a real person behind the book, rather than some idealized perfect lifestyle. She recognizes that her own needs and desires are unique to herself and that things that others might enjoy, such as socializing at parties, might not be what makes her happy - in her case she has a preference for curling up with a good book.

She covers a number of topics that research into positive psychology shows to be important for happiness including; our relationships with others, the need to exercise,  the need to find value and meaning in what we do, and to challenge ourselves. 

I enjoyed reading the book. It's not a scientific discussion of the theories of positive psychology (there are other better books on that), but rather an anecdotal and thought provoking account of her personal story, and others that share their thoughts on her blog. One of the values of hearing other people's stories is that it can inspire you to take action yourself, and when I read about her challenge to herself to start a blog, I thought 'I could do that too.' The joy of a blog is that there's very little to stop you getting started, once you have decided to be a blogger. You can set yourself a challenge to start then just get on with it! So  I have to say 'Thankyou' to Gretchen for being part of the inspiration behind my blogging about my own project of embracing the changes in my life.




 

The next step - 'Get out and Do' at Comic Con

For two months now I've been not buying unecessary 'things' and have also been working on decluttering the house and trying to make my life more streamlined. So far, so good. After the initial decluttering push, I've slowed down a bit, but am gradually chipping away at it, one messy cupboard or drawer at a time. But a couple of weeks ago I started thinking - what next? The idea was to clear some space in my life to do something new. To use my fledgling analogy, so far I have been busy defeathering the nest, but it's time to get out and start do a bit of flying.

So time to start on the next challenge - 'Get out and Do'.  Get out of the house and do something new or interesting.

Half term has been a great time for this as it;s a chance to get out with my teenagers. Part of the drive for this whole project comes from the realization that we're way past going down to the park to feed the ducks (although the puppy does add a new twist on that one..) and that we need to find new things to do together that will engage us all.

So with that in mind, on the morning of the first Saturday of the hoildays I find myself on a train to London with Milady de Winter from The Musketeers, Velma from Scooby Doo, and Bigby from I'm not quite sure what. For those of you in the know, you're right, we're off to MCM Comic Con in London.

I hadn't even heard of Comic Con until we discovered The Big Bang Theory on telly a couple of years ago. And even after we laughed at Leonard and the boys getting their car stolen while dressed in full Star Trek costume, it hadn't occurred to me that there were Comic Cons in the UK, and that you could just go along for the day in normal clothes. So when one of my daughter's friends went along last year, I was intrigued and thought that my youngest son would enjoy it, so when we had the chance last spring to go along together as a family, we took the opportunity and had a great day out.

For those of you not in the know, MCM Comic Con describes its events as 'The UK's biggest modern pop culture events'. If you like sci-fi, YouTube, Manga, gaming, fantasy, steam punk or just like to sit and watch people walk past in the weirdest costumes imaginable, it's the place to go.

It's also a great place to let teenagers off the leash. As the convention is all under one roof, once we had found our way around it was easy to let everyone wander around on their own if they wanted, with regular meet ups to feed the teens. So this time, while my teenagers roamed the halls stalking Youtubers, I was able to go a bit more mainstream and sat in on a really interesting Q&A session with the about half the cast of 'Humans' including the incredibly beautiful Gemma Chan. This was followed by another Q&A with a  number of writers from Dr Who including the very talented Steven Moffat. 

So, if anyone is looking for an interesting day out with teens - try Comic Con. You might even be tempted to dress up as My Little Pony.

Life lessons from a puppy - Don't put off till tomorrow...

It was a grey day yesterday. 

I intended to walk the Puppy round the block before I went out to Oxfam, but I ran out of time. So I gave her a quick chase round the garden and thought I'd do it later.When I got back from Oxfam it was raining. The Puppy doesn't like the rain. I spent 10 minutes cajoling her to walk about 5 yards down the road and then gave up. 

'Fine!' I said. 'You don't like walking in the rain, I'm not enjoying it either, we'll go home.'

Later, when the rain eventually eased, it was dark, and then I realised it was bonfire night. We played with the puppy inside, but she didn't get out for a walk. No problem I thought.

Until this morning.  

This morning was punctuated by  shouts of 'NO!' from various members of the family as Mad Puppy tore round the house, jumping up, playing tug of war with everyone's clothing and generally being annoying. I'm sure I heard the Husband threatening to send her back, but I think we'll let that pass under the circumstances...

I got dressed as quick as I could and took her out for a long dog walk with plenty of running around in the park. We got out first thing before it was too rainy, but the rain came on and we came back wet and bedraggled, but with waggy tails. 

So today's life lesson from a puppy - don't put off exercising till tomorrow when you really should do it today.

Not buying things - the story so far

At the beginning of September I set myself a challenge to not buy unnecessary 'things' for a year. I'm now seven weeks into the challenge and I thought it would be good to review how it's going so far.

Has it been difficult?

So far, it's been easier than I expected. As someone who likes shopping and bargain hunting, I thought I might miss being constantly on the look out for a bargain, the thrill of the chase, but so far I haven't. When I enter a shop, or help out in Oxfam, I am normally on the alert for the perfect dress or a necklace that would be useful. But now I can just look and admire, without 'would it suit me?' or 'should I buy it?' It feels more relaxing and so far I haven't felt at all tempted to buy anything.

It also has made shopping with my children more pleasurable. A couple of weeks ago I went shopping with my youngest son, who needed new shoes and a coat for school. One of the shops that we went into was  TK Maxx - normally I leave him browsing for a bit to dive off and rummage through the dresses to see what I can find. However, on this occasion I gave him my full attention and browsed with him for the things he needed which made it more enjoyable for both of us.

What did I buy that was necessary?

Food, some toiletries for the family, cleaning stuff. School books for my older children, school shoes for my youngest. Crate, lead and a couple of toys for the dog.


Have I saved money?

As I mentioned in my first post, saving money wasn't the main objective of the exercise, but it would be interesting to see how it pans out. Looking at what we spent in September this year compared to last it's not that different, but we have spent quite a bit of money on the puppy (food, vets bills, insurance), so I think the pattern of spending has changed. I also feel I'm getting through less cash, so I think probably spending on all those unnecessary little bits and bobs has reduced, but it will be clearer over a longer time period.

Any downside?

Very little so far, but I can see a challenge coming up as birthdays and Christmas approaches. My idea is to extend my not buying 'things' as presents which limits me to things I have already, experiences and money.  So far I have had one friend with a birthday - luckily I had something tucked away in my present cupboard which I thought she would like. The teenagers in my life won't be a problem as they will love having cash to make their own decisions, but as we come up to Christmas I can see that it will be a challenge to find gifts that my friends will enjoy and appreciate without buying them more 'stuff' that they probably don't need. 

So the story so far ? 

So far, so good. I feel more relaxed, have probably spent less money and have avoided accumulating more possessions that I really don't need. Just another ten and a half months to go...

Clearing the clutter - the Toothbrush Principle

In my quest for advice and inspiration whilst trying to declutter my house, I came across some useful advice from Sheila Chandra which she calls the Toothbrush Principle. Sheila makes the point that however disorganised and cluttered your house may be, you never loose your toothbrush. The reason that you can find your toothbrush is because you have a very simple system - which is that you store it close to where you need it, and you always put it back there because it is easy to do so. You don't ever have to 'tidy up' your toothbrush because you have an easy, simple system which you automatically use.

So this very simple idea set me thinking. How could I apply the Toothbrush Principle to the places in my house where stuff regularly builds up?

One of the areas that I struggle to keep tidy is my bedroom. Every couple of weeks I have a big sort out and tidy and hoover, and for a day or so everything is beautifully calm and ordered. But within a few days, the clutter starts coming back. So why is this?

Well although in theory I like the idea that my bedroom is a calm relaxing space, the reality is that because it's a lovely big light airy room, I use it for a lot more than just sleeping. In particular, I tend to sit on my bed to read, write, check my finances & use my laptop.  (As I am right now as I type this post.)  So over time, I accumulate a pile of library books, notebooks, magazines etc beside the bed. Every so often I would sort them out & decide they should be somewhere else, but they always came back again. Now that the puppy is chewing everything within reach, stuff on the floor is even more of a problem.

So applying the toothbrush principle to this problem, I worked out what I needed was a small bookcase in the bedroom. I had a rootle through the garage and found the carcase of an old kitchen cabinet which I dusted off and lugged upstairs to serve as a temporary bookcase. Now all my library books and magazines have a place to go. And because it's in the bedroom, it's easy to quickly tidy away stuff when I've finished what I'm doing. 

 Now I know this might sound very simple (and that's the beauty of it) - so why didn't I think of this before? 

Well, I had thought about putting a bookcase in the bedroom before, but I had resisted, because I felt like I shouldn't have lots of books and magazines in the bedroom, as we have a decent size house, so they should be in the study, or the book shelves in the living room. But applying the toothbrush principle worked, because I was being realistic about the way I actually used my bedroom rather than how I felt I should be using my bedroom, and provided storage that was easy to use and close to where it was needed.

Another area that quickly gets cluttered is my desk downstairs where I deal with my paperwork. Again I tried to apply the toothbrush principle and think what would actually help by being simple and easy, rather than implementing a complicated system that I wouldn't keep up. The problem here is that I tend to fling things on the desk that need dealing with when I'm busy, it all piles up and then I become more and more reluctant to deal with it. 

Thinking about this I know that I need to try and tackle the paperwork more regularly, with a little and often approach, but what would help in the interim is to have a clearly defined, LARGE in-tray then smaller trays for action and filing. By providing enough space for incoming stuff, I am now able to keep it separate from stuff that is waiting for action. Previously it was all getting muddled and then I would end up with a big pile to go through every few weeks when I started to get a panicky feeling that there was probably something important in the middle that needed to be dealt with. So I labelled my existing small filing tray to create a section for action within a week, action within a month, and filing, then found a new bigger container to use as an In-tray. I put this new system in place a couple of weeks ago, and although I know I still have a bit of a backlog of stuff to deal with, I no longer feel the important items are getting lost and swamped by the volume of everyday mail, and I have a simple system in place that I am actually using. 

So in the fight against clutter, the Toothbrush Principle is a  useful tool. Be realistic about the way you operate, and use storage that is close to where you use things and easy to use.

Life lessons from a puppy - you must be patient!

Today I was thinking about what I have learnt from my puppy, and definitely the first thing is the need to have patience with her.

Today I am feeling frustrated because it appears that at the moment, I have a puppy that doesn't much like walking! The first time I took her out, it took us 25 minutes to cover a couple of hundred yards. Everything had to be sniffed and examined, looked at and investigated. I thought that was to be expected on the first walk, but a week later and after several trips out to various places, it is still much the same. 

This morning we spent fifteen minutes and got about a hundred yards, with her being carried for part of it as I felt so frustrated. When we turned round to come home however, she scampered along quite nicely, so we have both come home to think this thing through.

The fact that she is happier to come home rather than walk out makes me think she is still just a bit nervous of the outside world. I guess I just need to persevere with short walks and taking her out often and I will build up her confidence.

So why did I feel so frustrated this morning? In the first couple of weeks I mopped up wees and poos in the house with plenty of patience. Now that she is making good progress towards being house trained, she is trying our patience by chewing everything she can get her paws on. So I am happily prying her jaws open several times a day to remove some small plastic object which she has somehow managed to get hold of.  That is a little frustrating, but hey, she's teething, we can deal with it. So why do I feel so frustrated with the fact that she won't just come out the door and walk?

It is of course, because of my expectations. One of the main reasons that I wanted a dog was because I love walking. Walking is like meditation to me, I love being outside absorbing the sights and sounds of nature around me. I love the rhythm of movement, letting my thoughts flow and eddy around me. It makes me feel really good.

So I wanted a walking buddy. Someone who can come with me to enjoy the great outdoors, or even just meandering through the town, people watching as we go. When I was younger, my grandfather looked after a golden labrador called Clare, and we used to roam around the fields near my grandparents' house together. When I daydream about the happiest parts of my childhood, I am sitting on a bank in a field in the Cotswolds in the sun watching the clouds drift by. And often, leaning against me is the heavy bulk of Clare, smelling a bit doggy and panting slightly as we watch the clouds together.

So, back to today and to a little dog that is now crashed out by my feet as I type. She is of course a small puppy. We aren't quite ready for big adventures just yet, but we will get there. I just need to have a little more patience.

The ultimate decluttering device - get a puppy.

The ultimate declutterer?

I guess I should put in a disclaimer here. In no way am I advocating an irresponsible decision to get a dog on a whim, but rather reflecting on how the decluttering is going so far.  I have come to the realisation that one of the best motivators for tidying up in our household has been puppy ownership!

Three weeks ago, we acquired a new 10 week old Cockapoo puppy. We had been considering getting a dog for quite a while, and having investigated different dog breeds, we had concluded that the family friendly gentle nature of a Cockapoo would suit us. Plus, we hoped she wouldn't try and eat the rabbit like a terrier would.

Having decided on a dog a while ago and having researched the breed, the next question was timing. We had a holiday planned in the summer, so I figured I could start looking  as soon as we returned. A few days after we got back, I started the puppy hunt on Pets4homes, and found a gorgeous looking litter of black cockapoos about an hours drive from us. After exchanging emails and phone calls with the breeder, during which time we both decided the other sounded a responsible adult with high standards of puppy welfare, we eventually met and chose our puppy. Suddenly, after months of thinking about it and planning, we were about to become proud new puppy parents!

Great excitement, followed by the realisation that we needed to puppy proof our house. The day before we got her I found the previously lacking motivation to sort out the boot room at the back of the house. I both tidied and reorganised things so I could move the cat's food and bed up onto the counter in the utility to give her a safe haven out of the puppy's reach. In the rest of the house I have had to ensure that nothing is left on the floor or within easy reach. My pile of clothes that accumulates on a chair beside my bed is now scooped up on a regular basis and tidied away in case she gets hold of something precious. I once lived with a puppy that converted one of my handbags into a clutch bag, so I am taking no chances. The puppy was fairly quiet for the first few days, but now she has been with us for 3 weeks and well settled in she is trying to chew everything.  I spend my days roaming the house with eagle eye trying to detect small tasty objects before she does, and wrestling them out a mouth full of needle sharp teeth when she gets there first.

 The most exciting moment came after we had her a couple of days and my teenage daughter announced that she was going to tidy her room so that the puppy could come in to play. The carpet, once lost to view under a layer of teenage detritus was excavated and even hoovered. So in a few days our bouncy small bundle of fur achieved more than years of effort by a nagging mother.

So a puppy as a decluttering tool? Has its benefits - but she's not completely housetrained yet, so I think on balance she may create more chaos than we have achieved by tidying up. But our home is a bit tidier and more organised, and certainly a lot more fun!

Starting to clear the clutter

So I've decided to clear the clutter. Again. This isn't the first time I've tried to simplify things, so how do I go about it in a way that's more long lasting?

I love psychology, self help books and reading about how other people approach things in life. That's one of the reasons I started this blog, to join in the discussion rather than just watch from the sidelines. So I decided a good place to start on my quest to declutter would be to look for a good book on decluttering.  Seeing as I'm not buying things I thought of heading to the library to see what I could find , but I decided to take a look on Amazon first. Although I wasn't intending to buy, the customer reviews were a good place to work out which books were useful, then I could use the online library catalogue to search for and reserve books. 'No More Clutter' by Sue Kay caught my eye and as they don't have a copy a my library, I have placed a reservation.

On looking further through the library catalogue, there seemed to be quite a few books about organising and decluttering available in my local library, so I headed down to see what I could find on the shelves. I discovered a wonderful gem of a book, 'The Clutter Cure' by Judi Culbertson. Rather than starting by focusing on how to declutter she instead starts by addressing the reasons why objects are meaningful to us, and why we find it so hard to let things go. I am already aware that we find it hard to let go of things because we perceive them to have value, or they have a sentimental attachment to them, or the person who gave them to us, but I have still found it hard to ignore those feelings at times. My particular weakness is that I can't bear to throw away something that might have a use for someone else. This makes it easy for me to sort through my clothes, because I can take the things I don't want to Oxfam where they will be sold and the money will go to fighting poverty, but really hard to get rid of something could be useful to someone else, but I don't know what to do with. This explains why a perfectly good but enormously large TV which has been sitting in our dining room for the last two months since we moved it out of another room to make space for an office for my husband. It's incredibly heavy as well as enormously large, and in the era of cheap flat screen TVs, I can't imagine anyone else wanting it, but I just can't bear to take it to the dump.

In the first few chapters of 'The Clutter Cure', Judi somehow manages to pinpoint all the sticking points as to why it's hard to let things go, and then gently chip away at them with both sensitivity and logic, to the point where it suddenly seems easy to let things go. By the time I was two chapters in, I was raring to go, and attacked my clothes drawers in the bedroom. Out went the 'useful' white T shirts which I don't wear any more and I don't feel good in. Out went the two 'useful' cardigans I hadn't worn for ages and a silk scarf I was given for a works event decades ago that I never wear. I also ditched the dresses that are a bit big on me since I lost weight last year and the lovely Joules dress that I bought from a charity shop and have worn once, but doesn't really fit right and it isn't really me. Yes, maybe I shouldn't have bought it in the first place, but it's cluttering up my wardrobe and now that it's gone, I'm not being reminded that I made a bad buy and feeling guilty that I've not worn it more.

That was yesterday evening, and today I've managed to sort through the large bookcase in our sitting room, and free up six bags of books and a bag of DVDs which can also go to Oxfam. I've got a slight sticking point on some books that are too scruffy for Oxfam and some magazines that someone else might like to read, but we have a festival starting in our village next week and there is a 'swap and swish' event where people can bring along things they don't need to give away, so I have bagged them up ready for that. I've also managed to sort and clean the shelves in my kitchen with my cookery books on, and freed up a few cookery books that I no longer use. 

A great start, but now I'm exhausted, so it's time to stop and plan what to tackle next!

 

The next challenge - how do I simplify further ?

Now that I'm a couple of weeks into my project and am not buying unnecessary stuff, I've been paying some attention to what is the next challenge for me.

Our house is always messy in places, and although I'd rather have a slightly chaotic but welcoming house than one that always looked like a show home,  I do find it frustrating that as the kids get older, it doesn't seem to get any easier to keep things under control. When they were small I felt like I never had enough time to keep things under control. Now they are older and I have more time, there's a limit to how much of it I want to spend on tidying up after everyone else! There are certain areas where clutter builds up and when I'm wading through it, trying to sort things out, I find myself wondering why we have so much stuff in our lives.

A while ago I remember my father telling me about my grandmother's day looking after the house and family when he was young. They lived in a in a beautiful part of the Cotswolds in Gloucestershire. My grandfather worked as the gardener on a small estate and they lived in the gardener's cottage with their three boys. 

It was a small house built in the 1920's. Two rooms downstairs and three bedrooms upstairs. The toilet was originally outside, but a large porch had been built over it and the coal store, so it wasn't quite so cold to go out there in the winter. The bath was plumbed into what was called 'the scullery room' next to a sink where they washed up. It had a large piece of wood or hard board which fitted on top so you could stack up the washing up on it, when you needed a bath you just moved the board out the way. At eight every morning after breakfast my grandfather would head out to work and my grandmother would get on with the housework. I'm guessing it was physically hard, there was a Rayburn cooker that also provided hot water to light, a fireplace to clean out, and washing to be done without a modern washing machine. My grandfather came back at 11 for bread and cheese, then at 1pm for a cooked lunch. But then after, she had cleared up my father said that 'the afternoon was her own'. 

I remember thinking about this when my children were younger. I could easily spend a free afternoon going through my daughter's bedroom trying to sort her numerous toys into some sort of order.  My dad and his brothers had a box of wooden blocks and cars that they played with. When playtime was over, it would take a maximum of five minutes to pick this up and the room was tidy again. So in the afternoon, my grandmother didn't spend all afternoon sorting the boys bedrooms. She went to the WI, or joined in with the village amateur dramatic group, or just sat down and read a book.

It's not that I think that life was better than ours. I'm guessing there would have been times when she was bored and felt cooped up living in a small village. I don't fancy having to finish the washing up before I could have a bath or clean my teeth. But it is interesting that with all our labour saving devices, we seem to have replaced the hard work of day to day living with being busy managing all the 'stuff' in our lives: physical clutter, paperwork, emails, information. Surely there has to be a better middle way. So I'm figuring that the next challenge for me is how to simplify things further to make more time for the fun and meaningful parts of life.

When 'not buying things' leads to more shopping...

I'm just over a week into my year of not buying 'things', so time to reflect on how it's going so far.

Strangely enough, one of the conclusions is that a decision to stop buying unnecessary stuff can lead to buying more stuff in the short term, but with a more positive outcome! When I decided to set myself this challenge, it was the beginning of the summer holidays and I decided that it would be better to start from the beginning of September, once things were back to normal and the kids were heading back to school. Also we were going on holiday and it felt a bit harsh to say I wasn't allowed to buy anything while we were away. So I had a few weeks of knowing that this was the last chance to spend.

I'm pleased to report that I didn't go too overboard in those last few weeks, but it did focus my mind on all those things that I'd been meaning to do but hadn't quite got around to. For the last eight months I'd been promising myself a new pair of running shoes, but hadn't quite got around to it, as it meant setting aside some time to visit a specialist running shop. Knowing I had a deadline meant I made it it a priority, and before we went on holiday I bought my new running shoes. 

Another question we'd been debating for a few months was whether to buy new blinds for the bedroom to replace the rather faded curtains and a blackout blind that wasn't working. Again, I made it a priority to visit Laura Ashley and pick up samples, and work out the cost of new blinds. In the event I decided that it would be too expensive, so in the end I bought a new black out roller blind to replace the broken one - job done. I also bought a new rotary washing line to replace the one that was falling to pieces, and ordered some bulbs for the garden to be delivered in September. Normally I get around to ordering bulbs in November, then scrambling to get them all planted before it's too late. And finally over the bank holiday weekend with the deadline looming, I ordered a new running jacket with money given to me for my birthday in the spring.

So the first conclusion that I've come to is that a decision to stop buying stuff for a year can lead to a focus on what you really should be buying in the short term. Or maybe I should conclude that normally I'm just not very efficient...



 

Not buying 'things' - the rules

Day 2 of my challenge of no buying 'things' for a year - what are the rules?

I've started my year of not buying 'things' - but what are the rules I've set myself? Basically it boils down to no unnecessary purchases. And no, I won't be justifying 'needing' a new dress for a party, I intend to be strict with myself, but without making life impossible.

So I can't buy clothes, shoes, bags, accessories.

No cosmetics, basic toiletries only.

No 'useful' or decorative items for the house - only essentials.

No art materials that I might do something with one day, or chairs from the dump that one day I will get around to painting....

No buying books, magazines or newspapers.  I can use the library instead, or read online.
 

So what will I be allowed to buy?

Food obviously, medicines, basic toiletries, replacements for stuff that's broken if I can't mend it and I need it. So for example, if the washing machine breaks, or my running shoes fall to pieces, I can mend or replace them. 

Cleaning materials & anything essential for house maintenance.

Fuel, tickets, experiences, holidays. 'Doing' rather than 'having'.

Necessary stationery, glue, sellotape etc. If I do actually get around to painting that chair I bought from the dump a couple of years ago, then I will try and use materials I've got, but if I run out of something essential, that's OK.

Stuff for the puppy. Having just (a few days ago) acquired a new cockapoo puppy, and not having been dog owners before, it's a bit like having a new baby and I am currently getting to grips with what is essential, and what we don't need. So rather than rushing it, there are a few things like a carrier for the car, which I know we will need but haven't bought yet.


But what about the family?

So I think that covers most things - but there is one area that is a bit more complicated. When I have mentioned to my teenage children that I might stop buying 'things' for a year, I could see a look of panic sweep across their faces. From a teenage point of view, buying 'things' isn't just about consumption, it's all about reflecting who you aspire to be. For my youngest son, his collection of 'band merch' as he calls it (T shirts with logos from obscure punk bands) and his collection of Vans shoes are highly important. My daughter loves her make up and her eclectic clothing collection which is mainly sourced from Oxfam, (so not too bad really?)  So I hastened to reassure them that this is my project, not theirs. Panic was replaced by relief.  But it does beg the question as how to handle birthdays and Christmas? And what about friends birthdays? I need to think about it some more, but I think I can deal with it by a combination of buying experiences rather than things, giving things I've already got or made myself, and if all else fails, teenagers love cold hard cash. That way, at least they are making their own choices and not having me buy something I think they'd love, when actually they don't.

The first challenge - not buying 'things' for a year

OK, so we'll start with the biggie.

Starting today, 1st September, for a year - no more buying 'things' that aren't essential. No more clothes, make up, shoes, things for the house, things that might come in useful, things that are a bargain. No more charity shop finds, no more browsing in White Stuff, no more googling on Amazon or Ebay.

To be fair to me - I'm not a spendaholic. (Or am I just in denial?) I see myself more as a modern day hunter-gatherer. I'm always on the look out for bargains, quirky dresses, stuff that might be useful, stuff that someone else doesn't want that I might have a use for. (Now I'm sounding like a hoarder...)  I love charity shops and volunteer in Oxfam which is great fun and has the added advantage of getting a good look at everything in stock once a week. And given that it's a charity I feel passionate about, I can always justify a purchase. ("Well if I don't wear it, it counts as a donation to Oxfam anyway...") With three children, the ability to sniff out Boden dresses and dungarees for £3.50 at the local NCT sale has been of huge benefit when the children were young. Not only were they colorfully dressed, but I really didn't care if chocolate ice cream got spilt down the front. But I have come to the point where enough is enough. It's time to reign it in for a bit.

So why - what are my reasons for this challenge?

The first and most obvious reason for me is that I'm a bit of a greenie. I am concerned about climate change and the embedded emissions in all the 'stuff' we consume and even setting that aside, I don't think we can carry on using up the world's resources at the rate we are going.  But given my love of dress-hunting, I have a bit of a conflict going on. So I think it would be good to challenge myself to step out of my little hamster shopping wheel, and to just do without for a bit, to give that bargain-hunting instinct a bit of a rest.

Secondly, after 16 years of children and 13 years in our current house, we've got rather a lot of stuff. Not being the organized super-mum type, I always struggle with tidying up and keeping on top of the house, so it does occur to me that if we had a bit less stuff, it might be a bit easier. For years when  the children were young, I blamed my untidiness on not having enough time, but now I have more time, I find I actually don't want to spend all my life tidying up after 3 teenagers, and I'd really like to tidy less and get out more. So maybe if I stopped buying, and continued decluttering, it might actually help.

The third reason is both more subtle and more profound. As a psychology graduate and mother, I have spent a lot of time over the last few years thinking and reading about what makes us happy, healthy and well adjusted. There's a lot of evidence that money spent on experiences makes us happier than money spent on things, so I want to try that out and see if it's true. So I'm not necessarily aiming to save money,although it will be interesting to see how a change in spending habits affects the bottom line. But rather, I would like to readjust my attention on to doing rather than having. It will be interesting to see what difference it makes - will I feel happier? Will not buying things free up more time for other activities? 

So - that's the challenge ! Next time I will set out the rules, but for now I have my challenge and my reasons for doing it. And lastly, I'm amused by the comment that my lovely fellow Oxfam volunteer made to our manager - "A year? She won't manage more than a couple of months..."